Mind-Blowing Oral

For some, it is the Holy Grail of female orgasms, for others it’s a trial of endurance akin to running four marathons back-to-back naked with no shoes, and for nearly every man it is a skill he prides himself on, or would kill to acquire. What’s that? Oral, of course.

Let’s be honest here, I’m a girl, and I have been with more than my fair share of men, and great oral is a skill sadly lacking in many of them. Sort of like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube with your tongue, it’s something that some of you have a natural aptitude for, and a vast majority just twist it and turn it and end up in worse shape than when you started. Never fear, I’m here to help. My qualifications? Well, I’m a girl, that’s a good start. I’ve instructed many men in the art of getting me off, and I have successfully performed oral sex on another woman multiple times (ha!). So listen carefully, and we’ll bust the bullshit, and get down to practicalities.

The Beginning

If you do not know the anatomy of a vagina and where to find the clitoris, I suggest you go do your research right now. We’ll wait. Ok? Everybody up to speed? Let’s go. Get your head down there, a little light kissing, soft licking and gentle biting to the thighs and the area where her legs meet her butt-cheeks is a good way to warm up, but be gentle. When you come face-to-face with the beast, take a deep breath and enjoy the scent. Now, her lips may be closed, this is nothing personal. She may not seem wet, again, nothing personal. Sometimes it takes a while to get revved up, and it doesn’t mean she isn’t enjoying herself, and sometimes the lubrication simply gets locked up in there behind those closed lips. So if she’s closed, gently part her with your fingers. Lick around the vaginal area, but avoid the clit for a few minutes. A little tickling and pleasuring will make her squirm and be more ready for you. Now, here’s a key trick. Once you’re ready to go in for the gold, take your hand, place it right where her pubic hair ends below her stomach, exert gentle pressure and pull the skin up towards her head. This unhoods the clitoris slightly, making it easier for you to access.

The Middle

Now you’re cooking with gas. Using the flat of your tongue begin to make big circles around the clitoris. Use lots of lube, which may require you stopping every now and again to get more spit going. Keep a steady rhythm. After a few minutes, make the circles smaller and more directly focussed on the clitoris, if she moans keep going, if she doesn’t, go back to the big circles and try again in a couple of minutes. Get a little faster now. Moans mean you are doing things right, when she moans or says yes continue doing exactly what you are doing. Many men think moans mean go harder or faster, they don’t, they mean keep it the same. A lot of concentration is involved in the female orgasm, so don’t break it. A few more minutes in, get a little faster. Once she starts pushing her hips up into your face you can put more pressure on and get faster still. But, and this is very important, keep a constant rhythm going. Rhythm is the key to everything, trust me. You should have been down there for at least ten minutes at this point, but don’t let up, just keep going. When she’s squirming, try inserting your index and middle fingers inside her, with your palm towards your face. Then make a ‘come her’ motion with your finger in time with your licking. This will press against her G spot. Now the panting and groaning will start. DON’T MOVE. Just keep going, getting incrementally faster and harder as she begins to moan harder.

The End

You’ll know when she’s about to come, because the walls of her vagina will start to tighten around your fingers, and she may possibly grab your head and almost suffocate you. DON’T STOP! As she begins to come, press your tongue hard against her clit, stopping all movement and just pressing down. And that’s it. As she comes down, gently remove your fingers and tongue (careful, she’s sensitive now) and reap your rewards. Great work.

Yes, it takes time, yes, you need patience, but good oral isn’t rocket science, really. All that nonsense about writing the alphabet with your tongue around her clit is exactly that, nonsense, and it won’t make her come. You need a certain amount of endurance, and a steady, steady rhythm, and you need to follow instruction. She will tell you what she wants, either through words, or by moving herself against you. Practise, practise hard. In my book, a man with great oral skills always gets a second date.

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